Handling Challenging People

Introduction

• Do people problems really matter?
• Prevention is better than cure
• Basic assumptions about challenging people

Are You A Good Problem Owner/Solver

• Your belief about people problems and your approach to them
• Interpreting your scores and how to become a successful solver

Challenging People - The Options

• Do nothing, alter your perception of the problem, persuade the person to change, modify the situation

The Ten Most Unwanted List

Understanding Other's Behaviour

• What determines focus and assertiveness
• It's a question of balance
• You can hear where people are coming from
• What happens when the intent isn't fulfilled

Threatened Intents

• Threatened intent to get it done, get it right, get along with others, get appreciated by others

From Conflict to Co-Operation

• Blending and redirecting - non-verbally and verbally

Listen To Understand

Speak To Be Understood

• Monitor your tone of voice, state your positive intent, tactfully interrupt interruptions, tell the truth, stay flexible

Get What You Project And Expect

• Pygmalion power
• Assume the best, give the benefit of the doubt
• Appreciate criticism

Bringing Out The Best In The Worst

• The Tank, The Sniper, The Know-it-all, The Think-they-know-it-all, The Grenade, The yes person, The Maybe person, The Nothing person, The No person, The Whiner

Communication And Technology

• The Numbers of Meaning
• Something lost, something gained

Rules Of Care In Phone Communication

• Shape perception, use your body for tone control, breathe for your life, chart a course, when to hold them and when to fold them, send listening signals, sound prepared even when you're not, you can close your eyes

Rules Of Care In E-Mail Communication

• Vent it but don't send it, read it one more time, read it another time, get a second opinion, begin with intention, end with direction, use jokes carefully